


off of one touch i could overdose

by kordelicious



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, famous! lauren, infidelty, kids in here too, like oral sex and stuff, lol, nanny! camila
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 22:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kordelicious/pseuds/kordelicious
Summary: camila is the 18 year old nanny. lauren is a 35 year old accomplished actress.they shouldn't work but love doesnt follow any rules.





	off of one touch i could overdose

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this story has been sitting in my drafts in FOREVER and i need to start writing again so i thought i might as well finish this. a kinda long oneshot about nanny camila and famous actress lauren. and for some reason i made lauren british, lmao? and bradley cooper is her husband but he's a businessman (whack). anyways, i'm satisfied with how it came out and i hope you guys like it.
> 
> For you guys also reading Mean Girls. I'm the one who's writing the next chapter and I'm hoping to get out very soon. Thank you so much for your patience.
> 
> All the love.

Camila is nestled in the cushion engrossed in her recent novel—The Book Thief—that she bought on a discounted price yesterday, when she hears keys turning and the front door opening. 

She ignores the feeling of her heart surging to her throat as she rises her feet and makes her way into the hallway.

“Welcome home, Mrs. Cooper.” She greets with a bright smile. 

Mrs. Cooper—or more accurately _Lauren Jauregui-Cooper_ —appears a bit startled, fixing Camila with those wide, striking blue-green eyes that makes something inside of Camila shake that she resolutely ignores. Lauren lifts a manicured hand to her chest, her bloody red painted lips pulling up in a smile.

“Camila.” She says and Camila despises herself for the way her heart reacts to the sound of her name in Lauren’s slow, raspy voice. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Cooper.” Camila responds, leaning against the wall a bit, as if her knees can’t support her at the mere sight of Lauren—they cannot. 

“Stop with that Mrs. Cooper, Darling.” Lauren admonishes softly and Camila thinks she’s addicted to the way the words sounds in her posh English accent. Camila has this theory that Lauren could say _poop_ and it would sound heavenly. Lauren kicks off her Jimmy Choo high heels — carelessly, as if they didn’t cost more than Camila’s life. “I’ve told you, you can call me Lauren.”

Camila intertwines her fingers behind her back and smiles sweetly. “Okay…Lauren. Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?” 

Lauren flashes her another smile and it’s fucking ridiculous that Camila’s body reacts to it every single time. But Camila has known for a while now that she’s as good as doomed. Some might even say that she has almost grown comfortable in her predicament.

“No, Darling. I’ll just have myself a glass of wine.” She sets her smart, little handbag on the tiny, round table in the hallway and struts in the direction of the kitchen. Camila trails behind her and struggles to keep her eyes from dropping to Lauren’s ass.

Camila slides into a seat by the kitchen island and watches the way Lauren pours herself a glass of wine.

“Do you want one?” Lauren asks, glancing at her.

Camila blinks surprised. “Oh. I’m not…I’m not legal.” Not that it has stopped her from getting completely smashed with her friends before, but she wants Lauren to know that she would never think of drinking while on the job.

Lauren cocks a surprised brow. “Oh, that’s right.” She laughs softly and Camila can feel something like a whole zoo coming alive in her tummy. “I always forget. You’d be legal in the UK. The age limit here is so silly.” She fills another glass and hands it to Camila. “You won’t get me in trouble, will you?”

There’s something playful in Lauren’s eyes that caused Camila’s cheeks to burn bright. “No, no, of course not!”

Lauren laughs again and sits down across Camila. “I’m kidding, Darling.” She closes her eyes and takes a sip, letting out a soft sigh. “Now, tell me, how were the kids? I hope they weren’t too much trouble.”

“Oh, no, not at all. The twins were adorable as always and we had a tea party. Adam used most of the time in his room, playing FIFA.”

“They all got to bed at a reasonable time?” Lauren smiles when Camila nods affirmative. “You’re so natural with them Camila. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Camila feels a pleasant flutter in her tummy and sinks her eyes from Lauren’s intense, imploring ones. “Stop it. You would have found someone else.”

It’s been a year and a half since Camila applied for the job as a live-in nanny for the Cooper Family and she still doesn’t know _how_ she managed to get the job out of so many other applicants. She remembers it clearly, she had been a bright-eyed, idealistic 16-year-old, who’d moved across the country from her bumble-fuck town in Pennsylvania to the glittery, dreamy Los Angeles, looking to carve out a new life for herself. The interview and hiring process had been grueling and Camila had been thoroughly vetted — understandably so, since the Coopers wanted someone they could trust with their precious kids.

“I’m happy we didn’t.” Lauren says softly and gazes at Camila with those heartbreakingly beautiful eyes. “I’m really happy we have you, Camila.”

Camila stares back at her. This is one of those moments that she has shared more and more frequently with Lauren these past months that has Camila questioning her sanity, whether she’s imagining the crackle of electricity between them. She feels like Lauren sometimes looks at her with something resembling the way Camila looks at her. 

She feels her hope rise and she breaks eye-contact.

“Um, thank you.” She says in a voice barely above a whisper. “I should get to bed, if I ever hope to get up in time for the kids’ school.”

Camila feels Lauren’s eyes on her as she rises to her feet. “Yeah, of course. Me too. Early day on the set tomorrow.” 

Camila smiles a little and nods. She picks up her wine glass to rinse it off and Lauren holds out her own in Camila’s direction. Camila walks around the island and reaches for it. As she grabs it, her fingers lightly brush Lauren’s and a sharp jolt of electricity burns her fingertips, startling her and causing her to drop the glass. The glass shatters into a million, little bright pieces upon impacting the floor. 

Camila gasps mortified and drops to her knees, frantically picking up the broken pieces. “I’m so sorry!”

“Camila, don’t pick it up with your—“ It’s too late, because Camila lets out a pained little yelp as she cuts her finger open.

“Are you alright, Darling?” Lauren asks, accent thicker with her concern. 

Camila straightens up and Lauren grabs her wrist to inspect the damage and Camila forgets the pain for a moment. “Come, put it under water, it’ll soothe it.”

Camila lets Lauren lead her to the sink and inhales sharply as a stream of cold water washes away the blood, revealing a mild cut at the tip of her finger.

“It’s fine. I’m ok.” Camila insists and tries to pull away — _needs_ to move away, because Lauren is standing so close to her, Camila can smell her expensive perfume and her skin feels on fire where Lauren is holding her wrist and refusing to let go.

“We need to put a plaster on it, love.” Lauren insists and flips the cupboards open in search for plasters, but the time Lauren spends in the kitchen is minimal. 

Camila points her in the right direction and Lauren finds the children plasters with little pink hearts printed on them, tentatively wrapping it around Camila’s finger. “There you are.”

“Thank you.” Camila whispers because Lauren still hasn’t let go of her wrist and she’s starting to feel overwhelmed. 

“You have to be more careful.” Lauren tells her, her eyes peering into Camila’s and Camila nods, lowering her gaze and pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. When she lifts her eyes again, her breath catches in her throat as she catches Lauren staring at her mouth.

Lauren blinks once, swallowing and sways forward unconsciously. She’s _soclose_ when she’s broken out of her trance at the sound of a tiny voice calling her.

“Mommy?”

It’s one of the twins, Faith, standing in the kitchen, clutching her bunny plushie, her small fist rubbing at her eyes, a mess of golden brown curls surrounding her chubby cheeks. 

“Faith, sweetie, are you alright?” Lauren asks and strides across the kitchen, picking up her little girl.

Camila leans against the counter, trying desperately to calm her trashing heart.

“I had a nightmare, mommy.” Faith tells Lauren, her bottom lip quivering slightly. 

“Aw baby, I’m sorry.” Lauren coos, cuddling and kissing Faith all over her little face, leaving behind traces of her lipstick, but Faith doesn’t seem to mind, just giggles adorably. “How about mommy reads you, your favorite story to chase away the bad dream?”

“Yes!” Faith squeals happily.

Camila watches the scene with a fond smile, her heart growing ten sizes in her chest. Lauren is often busy with work—as expected by a critically acclaimed, accomplished actress—but she always makes sure to make time for her children and her relationships with them is beautiful and admirable. 

“Alright, sweetie. Let’s go then.” Lauren turns to look at Camila and for a moment, she hesitates, eyes tracing Camila’s young, sweet face. “Are you going to be alright, Darling?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll clean this up and head to bed as well.” Camila replies easily.

Lauren nods. “Alright. Goodnight, Camila.”

“Goodnight, Lauren. Goodnight Faith.”

Once they’re gone, Camila leans against the island and lets out a shuddery breath. She could’ve sworn that Lauren had been about to kiss her, _would’ve_ kissed her if they hadn’t been interrupted and the thought makes her dizzy. It isn’t the first time it has happened, it’s the _third_ time within a couple of months and each time it happens, it leaves Camila reeling for days.

She wants to convince herself that it’s something she’s conjured up in her mind, a product of her vivid imagination and months of fantasizing about the woman, because there’s no way that Lauren would want to kiss her. There are so many factors that supports that, the most important being that Lauren is a 35-year-old _married_ woman with three kids. She’s married to Bradley Cooper, a gorgeous business mogul, as wonderful with his family as he is with his work. 

There’s no alternative universe in which such an accomplished woman would want a dorky, awkward teenage girl whose only talent in life appeared to be caring for kids.

Camila lets out a pained sigh, cleans up the mess she made and retires to the boathouse — her new home ever since she started working for the Pines. When she first moved in, she was assaulted with feelings of homesickness which she found weird since she had hated her menial, small town life, but now she loves it, it’s spacious and Camila has made it completely her own. 

She decides it’s easier to take a shower now than in the morning, since she’s going to have her hands full getting the kids ready for school. She slips out of her clothes and slides into the small shower in the back of the boathouse, sighing happily when the water hits her skin.

Camila has a bad habit of standing under the flow of water with closed eyes, letting her mind drift. She could be in the shower for an hour if she wanted to, which is the reason she only had time for them before bedtime. Her mother would scold her about wasting the water, but here, nobody could tell her off.

As she stood under the stream, she found her thoughts floating to a certain someone and it was hardly a surprise, Lauren occupied ninety-nine percent of her mind. Camila knew about her, before she started to work for her and it was hard not to when Lauren is such a movie star. She even has that classic movie star beauty, the pitch-black hair, the pale skin and the scarlet red lips; her beauty had named her the most beautiful woman alive on last month’s cover of People’s Magazine. Camila might, or might not have saved that issue (she totally has, Lauren looks _otherworldly_ on it).

So, to be fair, Camila hadn’t stood a chance. She already had a crush on Lauren before she met her and when she finally met her at the nanny interview, jittery with nerves, she was blown away by how much more beautiful Lauren was in person.

At first Camila hadn’t been too concerned. It was just a silly, harmless crush that would doubtlessly wither away with time, but much to her concern, it only grew. She has grown from being sexually and physically attracted to Lauren — who wouldn’t — from wanting to be pinned down and ravaged by her, to just wanting to spend time with her, cook her, her favorite dish and make her laugh.

It is ridiculous, but as Selena Gomez says, the heart wants what the heart wants. And Camila’s heart doesn’t care about their age difference, or Lauren’s husband, it wants Lauren. 

Camila’s all-time favorite movie that Lauren has starred in is one from many years ago when Lauren was in her 20s and not as well-known, just starting out. She played a lesbian who falls in love with her brother’s girlfriend, enters a passionate, whirlwind of romance with her, tackling obstacles after obstacle, fighting against the world to be together. Unfortunately, they suffer what Camila has coined _The Lesbian Hollywood Curse_ as Lauren’s love interest dies a tragic death. Camila has watched that movie more times than what is healthy and half those times, she has envisioned herself as Lauren’s lover, the brother as Bradley Cooper and of course a happy ending where they ride off into the sunset together. 

Camila recalls one of the saucy scenes where Lauren and her lover gets hot and heavy and Camila closes her eyes against the warm water as she remembers the way Lauren kissed the woman and touched her.

Camila feels the hot flush of arousal rise inside of her and she should go to sleep, but she can’t ignore the feeling of wanton lust overtaking her body. She touches herself, gingerly at first, letting her fingertips brush the lengths of her body, from her collarbone, to her small, perky tits, down her flat stomach until she finally reaches the place on fire between her slim legs. She bites down on her lips, muffling a breathy moan as she sinks her fingers inside of her.

This has become somewhat of a routine now, Camila rubbing one out in the shower, hot and bothered by Lauren’s mere existence. Camila knows that she should get herself a boyfriend or girlfriend — it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t discriminate — and actively work on flushing this out of her system. The problem is her fear of the probability of failing. 

She finishes to the mental image of that one time she accidently caught a sight of Lauren in her silk night dress — and what a vision that had been, the object of her wanking material.

She sinks into her bed, damp and naked — the way she likes to sleep — and drifts off into dreamland, dreaming about a world where she’s a world-famous sing-song writer in an open, loving relationship with Lauren. No words can describe her disappointment when she wakes up in the morning.

 

“…and we came out when I declared my undying love for her while receiving my Grammy award for best album of the year.” Camila finishes relating her latest, vivid dream about Lauren to her friends, or mostly Ashlee who’s the only one listening to her.

It’s a Saturday night and she’s at Ashlee’s flat. It’ one of the rare nights that Camila has some time off from her nanny duties. Both Lauren and Bradley are home — also a rare occurrence — and are having a family night with the kids. 

“Wow.” Ashlee mutters from where she’s got a hand lazily slung around Camila’s shoulder. She takes a deep drag from the joint nestled between her fingers and passes it on to Camila. “I don’t know how your dreams can be like that. Mostly mine never makes sense. The other night I dreamt that I was being hunted down by a serial killer and get this, I’m pregnant, but the next second my friend is the pregnant one and I have to deliver the baby in the car.”

Dinah snorts loudly and throws a handful of crisp in her mouth, eyes trained on the small screen where a movie they all gave up on watching a long time ago is running. “Still a more likely scenario than anything happening between you and Lauren.”

“Heeey.” Camila whines with a small pout. She inhales the cannabis and closes her eyes for a moment, feeling that cushy, fluffy feeling envelop her. “I told you, sometimes she _looks_ at me…like she wants me.” 

“You’re delusional, Camz.” Dinah responds with a shake of her head. “It’s sad, really. Normani take a break from sucking Ally’s face and tell Camila that her crush is getting creepy and sad.”

Normani pulls away from Ally, both breathless and lipsticks smeared. “Leave her alone. She can’t help it.”

“Thank you, Mani.”

“She’s been like this for years! When is she going to move on?” Dinah exclaims and gestures at Camila as if she’s a lost case. “You need to seriously get out there and get laid. I promise you’ll forget all about Lauren with a good length of dick pounding into you.”

“You’re so crude!” Camila complains and throws a pillow in Dinah’s face. It’s a weak throw and Dinah easily catches it.

“No, really. We should go out one day and find you a good lay.” Dinah insists, eyes bright at the promise of a night out. “Just trust me, Camz. Let me help you.”

“I don’t want to!”

“It could be fun.” Ashlee muses and reaches for her guitar, strumming a random melody. 

Camila is reluctant, but she knows it’s worth the shot, because Dinah is right, she’s becoming ridiculous with her infatuation. 

“Alright. Alright!” She relents and rolls her eyes hard when Dinah squeals in triumph.

 

Two weeks passes before the nights out happens. In those two weeks, Camila barely sees Lauren as she’s away in New York, attending some work-related events and Camila feels almost crazy with how much he misses her. When Lauren finally returns, they barely have a full conversation and Camila finds herself hoping for Lauren to give her the tiniest hint that she’s into her, so she can blow this night off and crow _I told you so_ in Dinah’s face.

It never happens.

Instead, Camila dresses herself up in her favorite little black dress that exposes her long, slim legs. She pairs it with flats and a choker wrapped around her neck. She goes light on the make-up, just a bit of lip gloss, mascara and blush. She inspects her reflection in the mirror and once she’s satisfied with her appearance, she grabs her purse and walks into the house to say goodbye to Lauren and the kids, before she leaves.

They’re in the living room watching a movie, the twins cuddled up to Lauren on either side of her and Adam slouched on the loveseat, alternating between watching the movie and texting on his phone. 

Camila watches them from the door for a moment. Lauren looks so sweet, soft and fresh-faced, comfortable in an oversized t-shirt and leggings. Camila feels privileged to see her like this and she could stare forever, but she starts to feel creepy and lets her presence known.

“Hey, guys!” She calls loudly to get their attention. “I’m leaving now.”

They all turn to look at her and for a moment, Lauren looks almost startled at the sight of her, eyes widening slightly.

“Bye-bye, Camila!” The twins chorus and return their gazes on the screen.

“Have fun.” Adam offers with a smile, eyes falling back on his phone.

“Let me walk you to the door.” Lauren says and Camila wants to protest but Lauren has already risen to her feet. “Are you getting picked up?” she asks as they walk the length of the large house to the front door.

“Yes. Normani is picking me up.” Camila tells her. “I might not come back tonight.” She wouldn’t if Dinah got her way. “But I’ll be back tomorrow in time for Adam’s soccer game.”

“Oh.” Lauren sounds surprised. “Are you staying with one of your friends?”

Camila hesitates to respond, because she doesn’t want to tell Lauren that she’s going out tonight with the intention to find someone to hook up with. It must be written on her face, because Lauren says.

“Oh, oh, I get it.”

Camila can’t decipher the look on Lauren’s face. There’s a ghost of a smile on her lips for a moment. “Be careful and have fun.”

Camila blushes, embarrassed beyond belief. She’s relieved upon reaching the front door. “Thank you.”

She’s about to leave but then Lauren tells her in the fondest voice, “You look lovely, Camila.”

Camila feels woozy with how fast her heart kicks into overdrive. She doesn’t dare to turn and see the look on Lauren’s face, doesn’t want to see what she hears in her voice, simultaneously afraid of being right or wrong.

“Camila.” Lauren says and Camila intakes a sharp breath of air when she feels Lauren’s fingers brushing against her arm, making the small hairs stand on end. Camila isn’t breathing when she turns to look at her and Lauren’s eyes looks so impossibly dark under the soft light in the hallway that Camila feels weak in her knees.

This time, Camila is one hundred percent positive that she isn’t imagining this. Lauren is looking at her with hooded eyes and her fingers are still touching Camila’s skin. Camila is about to throw caution to the wind and close the gap between them. She’s crazy at the thought of feeling Lauren’s soft lips against hers, but before she can realize her dreams, the door behind her opens, shocking her out of her daydream.

She spins around and watches wide-eyed as none other than Bradley walks through the door, clad in a dark grey suit, clutching a heavy briefcase. He appears as surprised to see them standing there in the hallway as they’re to see him.

“Mr. Cooper!” Camila exclaims, cheeks flushing bright, feeling like she just got caught red-handed with her hand in the cookie jar, even though nothing happened.

Bradley appears none the wiser and smiles pleasantly at her.

“Camila.” He offers her a warm hug.

“Baby.” He greets Lauren, taking her in her arms and planting a sweet kiss upon her lips.

“Brad. You’re home early. I thought you were flying in on Tuesday!” Lauren says.

“Yes. I know. But I didn’t want to miss Adam’s game. I know it’s a big deal for him.” Bradley explains as he shrugs off his coat and hangs it up.

Camila remembers the epic fight over the phone between Lauren and Bradley a few nights ago when Bradley had announced that he was coming home later than expected. That night, Camila had used most of her time fantasizing about comforting Lauren. 

“Where are you going, Camila?” Bradley asks, eyeing Camila and noticing her dress. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Camila’s cheeks pink. “No one. Um…I’m going out with the girls.” As if on cue, her phone starts vibrating and upon checking it, Dinah’s name flashes across the screen. She takes a deep breath and glances back at the couple.

“It’s nice to have you back, Mr. Cooper. I have to go now.” She dares to glance at Lauren. Lauren isn’t looking at her and Camila’s heart sinks to her toes.

“Alright then. Have fun!” Bradley calls after her.

Camila is still shaking when she collapses into Normani’s car and all her friend shoot her concerned look.

Camila doesn’t want to explain, doesn’t want to be told that she’s delusional, so she sighs. 

“I’m getting _so_ drunk tonight.”

 

And drunk she gets.

She gets so sloppy drunk that she knows she can’t go home to the Coopers in this state. It’s a good thing she isn’t planning to, because she’s got her eyes on a girl across the club. Dark, long hair, pale skin and red lips. Camila’s mind is hazy enough with alcohol and it’s dark enough for the girl to look like a younger version of Lauren.

She stumbles over to the girl and is relieved that she still sorta looks like Lauren up-close. Camila makes her laugh when she introduces herself by announcing that she can rap the whole verse by Busta Rhymes in ‘’Look At Me Now’’ and she has the prettiest laugh, dimples denting her cheeks and she tells her, her name is Lola.

Fuck. Even her name is similar to Lauren’s.

It doesn’t take long for the girl to casually mention that she lives close-by and Camila knows it’s stupid and it won’t work, but she’s drunk and confused so she lets Lola led her out of the club.

It’s incredible sex.

Lola does this thing with her tongue that has Camila sweaty and moaning.

Lola doesn’t kick Camila out after the sex and they fall asleep in a sweaty, dirty pile. 

Still, Camila has a racy dream of Lauren that night and she wakes up wet and horny and mighty frustrated.

It’s a good thing Lola is a fan of slow morning sex with virtual strangers.

She leaves her apartment early noon with a new number burning in her phone.

 

“See? I told you it would help you get over her!” Dinah crows over the phone.

Camila sighs from where’s she’s sitting on the patio, watching the kids play in the backyard — or the twins are playing and Adam is on his phone per usual, 12-year-old and already addicted to the tiny screen. Ah, the wonders of the technological age.

“Yeah. Whatever.” She has just finished telling Dinah about her hookup with Lola a few nights ago and they’ve been texting each other ever since. She loves memes and on top of that, she excels at using them correctly, so she’s pretty much brilliant in Camila’s book. Still, Camila can’t stop thinking about Lauren, but she doesn’t want to reveal that to Dinah and get shit for it.

“No need to thank me.” Dinah says sarcastically. “So, what does she look like? Got any social media I can stalk?”

Camila hesitates for a moment. “Um…yeah…actually…got an Instagram, I think.” She knows. She found her easily the other night and has been stalking her plenty, in awe at both the similarities and differences between her and Lauren.

Dinah insists Camila gives her the information she needs and Camila doesn’t really care at this point, so she gives in. She waits about two seconds before Dinah blurts out,

“What the fuck.”

“What?” Camila asks innocently.

Dinah lets out an aggravated groan. “It’s always one step forward and two steps backwards for you, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Camila plays dumb, just because she feels like it.

“She looks like Lauren, Camz! Are you kidding me?”

Camila purses her lips. “I’ve told you one hundred times, Dinah. I can’t help it! I’m…I think….” Her voice drops low and small, “I think I’m in love with her.”

There’s dead silence on the other end for a moment and all Camila can hear is the sound of her own heartbeat and the twins squealing in the background on the swings. She can’t quite belief that she said that, but the longer the words hang in the air, the truer they ring to her. 

“What…you think so?” Dinah’s voice is thick with incredulousness that makes Camila’s toes curl unpleasantly.

Camila licks her chapped lips and throws a glance at the kids, Hope is pushing Faith on the swings and Adam have finally abandoned the phone in favor of kicking a ball around. She loves Lauren’s kids. She loves them for all the little ways they remind Camila of Lauren. The reality that nothing might come of it shatters her heart in tiny little pieces.

“Yes.” She says quietly and feels like she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. “And I think…no, I _know_ that she feels something for me too.”

“Camz…”

“Don’t patronize me, Dinah!” Camila exclaims and is shocked by the tears popping into her wide eyes. She immediately rises to her feet and walks into the boathouse. She doesn’t want the kids to see her upset. She stands by the window, however, so she can keep an eye on them. “Don’t tell me that I’m young and that she’s so much older, don’t tell me she’s married with kids, don’t tell me I’m being a fool, I know, ok?”

Dinah sighs heavily. “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself, Camz. She’s an adult…and you’re essentially just a kid. I don’t want you to get hurt. I know we’ve only known each other for a year, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

Camila smiles frailly. “Yeah. Me too.”

“And you have to remember that Lauren is massively famous. She’s in the spotlight. She can’t be with her 18-year-old nanny without damaging her career beyond repair. You’d both get slaughtered by the media. They’d call you a homewrecker, Camz! Don’t you remember what happened to Ben Affleck when he got caught messing around with their baby sitter! And the kids, Camz, they would be devastated…Camz?” 

Camila doesn’t know what gives her away, probably short puffs of breath and soft sniffling. The tears are rolling down her pink cheeks with no end in sight.

“Camz, are you crying?” Dinah asks softly.

“Uh, I gotta go.” Camila croaks and hangs up the phone.

She slides down on the floor and hides her face behind her hands. She feels like an idiot, crying for something that never was and never will be, but she’s always had a tendency of becoming attached too quickly and falling too hard. It’s a flaw. She just wants Lauren so bad that it physically hurts.

“Mila! I’m thirsty!” The twins tumble through the door without warning, giving Camila no chance to collect herself. They stop short, their eyes big in their little faces when they see Camila on the floor, tears and snot dripping down her face.

“Faith, Hope.” Camila gasps and dries her eyes as she rises to her feet. “What have I told you about knocking?” She tries to give them a bright smile but it comes off wrong.

The twins exchange a glance and does that creepy thing they always do, communicate telepathically, then they turn to look at Camila. Camila blinks and the next thing she knows, she’s being attacked by tiny toddlers as they lunge at her in a tight hug.

“We love you, Mila! Please don’t cry!” They chorus, clinging to her legs and blinking up at her with their pretty green eyes, so alike their mother’s. Camila ignores the sting in favor of the fond warmth spreading through her body. She drops to her knees, so she can hug them properly.

“I love you too babies.” She sniffles softly, grasping them close to her body.

They kiss her on the cheek. “Come play with us and you won’t be sad anymore.”

It sounds like a wonderful distraction.

“I would love to play with you! How about hide and seek?” The girls cheer their consent. “Alright. I’m going to count. You two run and hide.”

She watches them scramble away in delight and she smiles with a soft sigh. She knows Dinah is right. If anything were to ever happen between Lauren and her, it would hurt the kids and Camila would rather die than let that happen.

 

Camila starts seeing Lola frequently, and yeah, maybe she should find someone who doesn’t look so much like Lauren, but the effort it would take isn’t worth it. Besides, her and Lola click and their booty call relationship develops into something more like a fuck buddy relationship. They meet up, hang out and fuck, it’s perfect. Lola is amazed that Camila is working for the Cooper family since she’s a massive fan of Lauren — who isn’t at this point? — and Camila starts bringing her to the boathouse when she starts trusting her.

They’re about one month into this arrangement when they run into Lauren who’s unexpectedly home. Camila had hoped the house would be empty since Bradley was out for ice-cream with the twins and Adam was at his friend’s house. Lauren was supposed to filming for this massive movie, but here she was intercepting them in the hallway and looking surprised to see Lola.

“This is Lola. My friend.” Camila quickly says, feeling guilty for reason she can’t explain. Both Lauren and Bradley made it clear early on that she was free to bring over her friends whenever she wanted to.

“Holy shit.” Lola says under her breath, staring at Lauren with starry eyes.

Lauren smiles friendly at her and extends her hand. “Nice to meet you, Lola. For a second there, I thought my younger self had teleported to the future.” She glances briefly at Camila as she says that with an amused expression and Camila chokes on her own spit.

“I’ve been told I look like you a few times.” Lola says with a pleasant flush on her cheeks and a shy smile.

“Um…I didn’t think you’d be home before tonight.” Camila stutters, unable to keep her gaze on Lauren.

“Oh yeah, I just came back to grab a few things, I’ll be on my way. Have fun, girls.” She shoots them a smile and struts away.

“Holy shit.” Lola gasps, grabbing Camila’s arm. “She’s even more gorgeous in person.”

Camila sighs pained. “I know.”

 

Later that same day, Camila has just finished putting the twins to bed and she’s walking down the hall when she notices the lights on in the master bedroom. She knows that Bradley is working in his downstairs office, which means that Lauren has returned from set. Camila doesn’t want to face her after the embarrassment from earlier today, but she has to pass her bedroom to get downstairs. She takes a deep breath and silently prays that Lauren is in the bathroom.

She fists her hands, takes a deep breath and resolutely stalks passed the bedroom. 

“Camila?”

She stops up, cursing softly on her breath and turns to look inside the bedroom. Lauren is sitting by her vanity, removing her makeup, she smiles when she spots Camila.

“Welcome home.” Camila smiles back. “How was your day?”

“The usual. We finished a big scene today and our director, Mark Roberts, is _impossible_ to please, but he was very satisfied with the result.” 

Camila nods. “When will you be done?”

“One more month, that is, if everything goes according to the plan.”

“I’ve read that it’s the most anticipated movie of next year.” Camila can’t help but feel pride for Lauren. 

Lauren laughs prettily. “Yes. I’m hoping it’ll finally earn me an Oscar.”

“You deserve it.” Camila says easily. “You’ve worked very hard.”

Lauren shoots her an appreciative smile. “Thank you, Camila.” She starts applying lotion to her arms. “How was your day? Did you have fun with your girlfriend?”

Camila is so shocked that for a moment she doesn’t say anything, before she blurts, cheeks blazing bright red, “She isn’t my girlfriend!”

Lauren turns in her chair to study Camila curiously. “No? She’s just a friend?”

Camila looks down and shrugs. “Um…eh…no…but…”

Lauren chuckles. “It’s alright, Darling, don’t be embarrassed. I get it. You’re young.” She leans down, sticking her smooth legs out of her night robe to rub the lotion on them and Camila can’t help but stare. Lauren catches her staring and Camila doesn’t think her heart can handle an ounce more of embarrassment. She clears her throat and inches towards the door.

“Um. I’m just gonna…” She trails off awkwardly and thumbs in the direction of the door.

“Wait.” Lauren commands, rising to her feet. Camila stops up and looks at Lauren who’s staring at her with an unreadable expression. Camila swallows thickly when Lauren walks towards her and Camila instinctively starts backing away, but she runs out of space as her back hits the wall.

Lauren doesn’t stop approaching her until they’re mere inches away, their feet nearly touching each other and Camila forces herself to look at Lauren’s face, momentarily dazed at her clear skin.

Lauren lifts her hand and lightly touches Camila’s cheek. Camila doesn’t dare to breathe, doesn’t dare to move a muscle in fear that it’ll shatter this moment. The only thing moving is her heart, in sharp, fast beats that feels anything but healthy. Camila’s lashes flutters when Lauren’s fingers trail down to her lips, her thumb dragging down the corner of her mouth.

Lauren removes her hand from Camila’s face in favor of brushing it down the length of Camila’s arm and it’s first then that Camila realizes how exposed she is in her tank top and floral shorts. Lauren’s fingers curl at her hips, fitting so perfectly there and Camila feels like she’s going to cease existing. It feels too much and too little at the same time. She’s caught between wanting more and running out of the room.

“Camila.” Lauren says so tenderly that it’s a wonder that Camila’s heart doesn’t stop beating. “Look at me.”

Camila struggles to lift her gaze and once she looks into Lauren’s eyes, the brilliant green surrounded by a ring of midnight black, she feels the breath get knocked out of her. Lauren’s eyes searches Camila’s, her face, flashing momentarily down to her lips, lingering for a bit and then back to Camila’s eyes.

“Yes?” Camila’s voice is brittle, sounding the way she feels, as if she might break apart any moment.

Then Lauren smiles, a beautiful, genuine smile and Camila falters. She can’t fight it anymore. 

Camila surges forward a little too fast, a little too enthusiastic and slams her mouth against Lauren’s. It’s ungraceful, awkward and clumsy. Lauren reels back and Camila is mortified.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry!” She blabbers.

Lauren silences her by grabbing her chin firmly. “You’re so cute.” She leans in and does a much better job, pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss. She wraps her arm around Camila’s middle and pulls her closer. Camila immediately forgets about the previous embarrassment as she melts into it, feeling like she’s ascending to heaven.

She gasps softly, mouth parting and Lauren licks inside, deepening the kiss. Camila feels like every nerve ending in her body is on fire, toes curling and she lifts her arms and wraps it around Lauren’s neck, her fingers doing what she’s thought about in her wildest dreams, carding through Lauren’s black, silky hair.

Camila feels Lauren’s soft curves pressing against her own, feels her breasts heaving with her breath and it feels better than anything she could’ve fantasized about.

Lauren’s wet mouth drops to Camila’s neck and Camila whimpers as she throws her head back, barely feeling it knock against the wall behind her. Lauren’s hands explore her body, leaving a trail of fire behind, and they take handful of Camila’s ass, squeezing.

A breathy moan spills from Camila’s mouth and she can feel Lauren’s smile against her skin.

“You’ve got the loveliest bum on this planet, Darling.” Lauren breathes, voice thick with lust.

“T-thank you.” Camila pants, cheeks flushing brighter red. She gasps loudly when Lauren’s hand dips under the fabric of her shorts, taking a handful of her naked ass.

“No underwear?” Lauren hums amused.

Camila doesn’t know what to say to that, she rarely wears underwear unless she’s wearing skirts and dresses. She doesn’t have to say anything because the next moment, Lauren spins her around, pressing her against the wall, her warm hands pressing against her tummy for a split second before they dive under the waistband, cupping her between her legs and it’s first then that Camila realizes how ridiculous _wet_ she is, she’s practically dripping, giving off more heat than a thousand of suns.

“Lauren.” Camila moans her name, eyes fluttering close, kiss-bruised lips falling wide open.

“Yes, Darling.” Lauren’s mouth presses hot kisses into her shoulder and she sinks a finger inside of her, causing Camila to buck and keen loudly. “Do you like that?”

“Yes.” Camila gasps and Lauren pumps her finger in and out, fast and dirty, knocking the filthiest sounds out of Camila’s mouth. Camila whimpers when Lauren grabs a handful of her hair and tilts her face back so she can kiss her panting mouth.

Camila’s head spins, thighs shaking and legs nearly giving out when Lauren thumbs at her swollen clit. She fingers her, steadily adding another and another until Camila is nothing but a flushed, blabbering mess.

Lauren’s free hand finds its way under Camila’s top, playing around with her sensitive, rock hard nipples, eliciting a needy whine from Camila.

Camila trembles helplessly as Lauren finger-fucks her mercilessly. She is completely at Lauren’s mercy and they both know it. Soon she feels the familiar tension curl tightly in her tummy and then her whole world explodes in white as she come hard, in generous gushes all over Lauren’s hand. It feels like she’s coming for a long time — she doesn’t remember the last time she came that hard, she’s pretty sure it has never happened.

Once it over, she feels boneless and the only thing holding her up is Lauren’s arm around her waist. For a moment, Camila is neither here nor there, floating on a cloud, happy to feel Lauren’s warm embrace and her enticing perfume. She vaguely feels Lauren kissing the top of her head, muttering something that sounds like _you’re so sweet_.

Camila’s heart flutters and she wants to turn around and kiss her over and over again. She wants to return the favor, she wants Lauren to look at her like she’s the center of the universe. Nothing can describe the state of her euphoria, but her little world shatters when she hears something downstairs.

At once she remembers that Bradley is home, has been home the whole time, working in his downstairs office. Camila can’t fathom how she could’ve forgotten. Actually, she can, it has something to do with the woman holding her, nuzzling her neck affectionately.

Camila jerks out of Lauren’s hold, eyes wide as she spins around. Lauren looks confused as she clearly hasn’t heard Bradley downstairs. 

She reaches for her.

“Camila—“

“He’s downstairs.” Camila whispers. “I have to go.”

She turns and flees before Lauren can say another word. The lights are on in the kitchen and Camila can hear Bradley moving around in there. She tiptoes along the wall and slips out, running the expanse between the main house and the boathouse, only allowing herself to breathe easily once she’s inside.

She collapses on her bed, heart trashing wildly in her chest. She stares up at the wall, in disbelief at what just occurred in Lauren’s room and how close they had been at getting caught. She wonders if Lauren had known her husband was home, had she known and simply didn’t care? So wild with want for Camila that she was willing to take risk it all?

Camila covers her face with her hand, letting out a shaky sigh and she can’t fight off the smile spreading across her lips once she realizes _that_ really happened. Lauren really cornered her against the wall and kissed her like she was starving and fingered her until she was shaking.

Camila is still smiling once she finally falls asleep that night.

 

Things don’t change.

Camila doesn’t know what she’s was expecting. Alright, she totally does — she was expecting stealing touches in the hallways, lingering glances across the room, Lauren knocking on her door in the middle of the night because she couldn’t sleep with how badly she wanted her. Oh yeah, Camila has had extensive fantasies about things changing.

But the thing is, nothing changes and the days stretches into weeks and soon enough, it’s been nearly three weeks since it had happened and Lauren has barely spared her a second glance. Needless to say, Camila is heartbroken and she can’t even run to her friends for comfort. She knows they would strongly disapprove. And yeah, Camila knows it’s wrong, the way she’s feeling, the way she craves Lauren’s touch, what they shared those weeks ago. She never thought she would be the other woman, never thought she would be a homewrecker, driving someone to infidelity.

The problem is, it feels so _right_.

Camila starts to believe that Lauren doesn’t share that opinion. Everything about her actions screams that she regrets it and just want to pretend like it never happened. It’s not fair, however and Camila is as hurt as she angry, feeling so helpless.

She falls back into bed with Lola, but feels even more empty afterwards than she was before. She starts inviting Lola over when Lauren is home, in some silly, childish fantasy that Lauren will claim her in jealousy.

It never happens.

Camila feels herself sinking into a black hole, the only thing capable of bringing a smile to her face being the kids.

It’s nearly been a month when something finally happens.

It’s early noon and Camila is in the boathouse, chilling in her chair with a good book and a bowl of strawberries when there’s a series of gentle knocks on the door.

Camila startles, staring at the door wondering who it could be. The kids are in school and their parents are at work. Camila climbs to her feet and cautiously approaches the door.

“Who is it?” She asks, her vivid imagination conjuring up scenario where someone broke into the house and has come to murder her.

It isn’t the voice of a murderous burglar that speaks behind the door. 

It’s Lauren.

“It’s me Camila.”

Camila’s heart jumps to her throat and her fingers shake as she reaches for the doorknob. She can’t help but get her hopes up, thinking that Lauren finally has come around and realized how much they need each other.

Camila is as usual blown away by how beautiful Lauren looks, even in her casual attire of a bomber jacket and skinny jeans. 

“Hi.” Lauren says softly and smiles. “May I come in?”

Camila blinks. “Oh! Yeah, of course.” She moves to give Lauren space to enter and realizes how messy her room is. There’s dirty laundry flown everywhere, an open box with half eaten pizza and there’s even a freaking banana peel on the circular table

“I’m sorry for all the mess.” She squeaks and rushes to remove all her books and clothes from the couch so Lauren at least have somewhere to seat. Lauren studies the space, seemingly unbothered by the mess.

“I like what you have done with the place.” She says. “It’s very you.”

Camila blushes. “Oh, thank you.” She dries her sweaty palms on her jeans as she nervously watches Lauren take a seat on the couch. “Can I get you anything to drink?” she asks, feeling awfully awkward.

Lauren shakes her head. “No thank you, Darling.”

Camila bites down her lip and nods, sinking into the bean chair across from Lauren.

Lauren watches her for a moment too long, causing Camila to feel hot under her gaze.

“Camila, we need to talk.”

Camila’s feels her anxiety kick up as her chest tightens at the seriousness on Lauren’s face.

“About what?” She questions, voice slightly high pitched.

Lauren’s full brows furrows a bit and she quietly says, “I think you know.”

Camila swallows thickly and says nothing. She’s starting to realize that this isn’t leading to what she’d hoped for.

Lauren takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry…about what happened between us.” Camila wants to scream that she isn’t, but she says nothing. Stares stiffly at Lauren without blinking. “I shouldn’t have come onto you the way I did. It was very wrong of me—“

“You weren’t alone about it.” Camila blurts, blinking rapidly when her eyes feel paper dry.

“I’m the adult. I’m a full-grown woman and you’re just a kid. I should’ve known better. I took advantage of you and I’m honestly appalled by myself—“

“It’s not your fault! I…” Camila trails off. She wants to say that she had wanted it just as much as Lauren, still wanted it even, but something in Lauren’s expression made her stop.

“Camila. It can never happen again.” Camila visibly jolted as if Lauren had physically driven a blade through her chest. “I’m thankful that you’ve kept it to yourself and I would appreciate it if it stayed between us.”

Camila’s eyes burn and she lowers them. “…um…of course.” She whispers.

“Thank you.” Lauren says softly. “I hope this doesn’t change anything. The kids and I adore you. “

Camila stays silent but nods.

There’s a stretch of uncomfortable silence, then the sound of Lauren rising to her feet.

“Once again, I deeply apologize. I hope you’ll forgive.”

With that she leaves and Camila is left to drown in her broken feelings until she suffocates.

 

For the next many, many days Camila does everything in her power to keep her mind off Lauren and the mountain of hurt that she’s carrying, but it’s hard, given that she lives with the woman. She devotes her time to the children and fucking away the pain with Lola on her time off.

It’s worst when the day is over and she’s alone in the boathouse. That’s when she crumbles and cries until her eyes are bleeding red. She’s unable to keep it hidden from her friends any longer as they quickly notice the rapid drop in her mood.

Once she tells them they have varying reactions.

Ashlee is for the most part just curious about Lauren’s sexual prowess. “So, did she make you come?”

Normani and Ally are trying to uncover whether Lauren has any real feelings for her or if she just wanted to fuck her.

“Maybe she wants to be with you, but she knows she can’t so she pushes you away?” Ally wonders and Normani nods along wisely.

And Dinah. She’s mighty pissed.

“How the fuck dares she use you like that and then throw you away like an old, used rag!” She rages. “I’ve literally just lost all respect I had for the woman. What the fuck. What the fuck. Camila, you should quit _ASAP_.”

“I can’t quit.” Camila mutters sullenly. “I love my job. I love the kids. I get good money.”

“So freaking what?” Dinah exclaims. “If you have an ounce of self-respect, you would flip her the finger and storm out.”

“Dinah!” Normani admonishes. “Leave her alone, can’t you see that she’s sad.”

Dinah glances at Camila where she’s crumbled in the cushion, Ashlee half-heartedly petting her hair.

“It’s her own fault. I told you to get over her.”

“It’s not that simple, Dinah!” Camila snaps. “I can’t just turn it on and off like a light switch!”

Dinah purses her lips and inspects her nails. “I’m pretty sure you could’ve stopped yourself from letting her use you, but you didn’t so now you’re a mess.”

“I didn’t let her _use_ me! We had sex! Consensually, alright? I’m not some dumb kid who got taken advantage of!”

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Ally slides up next to her and gives her a comforting hug. “You’re going to be alright.”

Camila sniffles and closes her eyes. “I doubt it.”

Dinah sighs. “Want me to go beat her ass?”

Camila snorts. “Um, no thanks.”

“What are you going to do now?” Normani asks.

Camila groans and drags her fingers through her hair.

“Honestly…I have no idea.”

She could do nothing. All she could do was wait and hope that her love for Lauren wouldn’t withstand the trials of time.

 

A couple of weeks later and Camila is enjoying some time alone in the boathouse. The kids are all at a sleepover, Lauren is at work and Bradley is in his office. She gets the brilliant idea of making a banana milkshake, but she’s run out of milk, so she decides to get some from the main house.

She’s humming a Taylor Swift song under her breath as she walks across the grass towards the house, loving the feeling of the grass tickling her bare feet — it’s one of those rare days where she feels like she can breathe through the pain.

She slides open the glass door and steps inside but stops abruptly at the sound of shouting. Her eyes grow wide as she realizes that it’s coming from the kitchen and that it’s Lauren and Bradley screaming at each other.

She can’t quite make out what they’re saying but she catches snippets.

“No! No! You don’t understand, Lauren! You never understand the amount of work that I—“

“You aren’t the only one who has a career to take of Brad! I have a job too! I still find time to—“

Camila stands there for a few minutes, listening to them fighting. She’s known for a while that Bradley and Lauren aren’t happy together, she’s never seen them happy together for as long as she’s known them. She even knows about Bradley’s handful of affairs that Camila has chosen to turn a blind eye to, since she thought it was none of her business. The knowledge of his indiscretions is probably the reason she doesn’t feel as guilty about what happened between Lauren and her as she should be. 

She slips back outside, abandoning her mission, feeling a bit ill at the brief invasion of privacy. At least Lauren and Bradley fight each other while the kids are away. Camila knows intimately the awful feeling of witnessing one’s parents yelling at each other.

Once she’s back in the security of her room, she can’t help but think that _she_ could make Lauren happy. She would dedicate her entire life to be the woman who put a smile on Lauren’s face. 

If only Lauren would let her.

 

“Adam, why aren’t you doing your homework?” Camila asks after she dips her head into his room and find him frowning at his phone.

He barely glances up at her. “I’ll do it later.”

Camila looks at the clock and steps into his room. “You have to do it now. You know it’s time for homework right now.”

“I said I’ll do it later!” He snaps heatedly, startling Camila.

“Whoa, you don’t have to snap at me, Adam.” She reprimands firmly and crosses her arms under her chest. “You’ve been on that phone all day. Please put it down and do your homework.”

“Augh! Don’t tell me what to fucking do, ok!” He explodes out of nowhere, but then looks as shocked as Camila.

“I’m sorry.” He says wide-eyed and groans softly, burying his face in his hands.

Camila takes a deep breath and carefully sits down next to him. She knows something is wrong, because she has noticed Adam’s increasingly snappish mood the last few days.

“What is going on Adam?” She inquires gently. “You can tell me. Perhaps I can help.”

Adam sighs deeply and raises his face. He looks so much like his father, except the thick brows — those are all Lauren.

“It’s nothing.” He mutters.

“Come on.” Camila smiles and slings an arm around his neck. “I can keep a secret.”

He glances briefly at her. “I just…I just feel like such an idiot.” Camila rubs his shoulder and waits. “There’s…um, there’s this girl in my class, right?”

Camila smiles broadens. Affairs of the heart. She’s not an expert — obviously — but she’ll do her best to help.

“Right.”

“And I thought…I thought she liked me, right? We hung out a couple of times and then we went out and got a burger together. We even held hands. We didn’t call it a date, but it was totally a date. I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, but then I get on Instagram and this guy, who I thought was my friend, has posted a pic of her where she’s kissing his cheek #mygirl.”

Adam’s eyes grow wet as he recaps the details of his first heartbreak. “He knew I liked her. _She_ knew. I feel like such a loser.”

“You’re not.” Camila assures and pulls him a bit closer. “He’s not your friend and she’s not worthy of your heart.”

Adam sniffles, muttering an unconvinced, “Yeah right.”

“No, Adam, listen to me.” She peers into his sad, little face. “You’re young. You’re only 12-year-old and you just experienced your first heartbreak. It’s normal to feel like it’s the end of the world and that you’ll never get over it. I’ve been there. Too many times for my liking, so I know how you feel. There’s someone out there right now, who was made just for you, who’ll love you and never hurt you.”

Adam doesn’t look like he believes it, pouting like there’s no tomorrow. 

“Smile, Adam, you’re a handsome boy who’ll make someone _very_ happy someday!” She pinches his cheeks playfully, “Come on now. Let me see that beautiful, charming smile.”

Adam bats away her hand and fights off the smile creeping onto his face.

“Ohh! It’s coming! I can already feel my heart jumping out of my chest!” Camila flails dramatically, successfully making Adam break into a grin.

“My heart!” Camila exclaims and drops to the floor, feigning a heart attack.

Adam laughs. “Stop! You’re so weird!”

Camila laughs as well and drops flat on her back, that’s when she comes eye to eye with a pair of Chanel pumps. She elevates her gaze, following the long lines of bare legs, disappearing into a loose dress, long, smooth neck and smiling, red lips.

She scrambles to her feet, staring at Lauren, wondering how long she’d been standing there.

“That was so sweet of you.” Lauren says, obviously having heard Camila’s talk with Adam. She looks at her son. “Can mommy give you a hug?”

Adam rolls his eyes with a smile and shrugs. “Whatever.”

Lauren takes it as a yes and moves forward, engulfing Adam in a tight and warm hug. She pulls back and ruffles his hair. “We’ll talk later, okay?” She turns to look at Camila. “Camila, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Okay.” Camila says nervously and follows Lauren out of the room.

“As you know, the kids are visiting their grandparents in Santa Cruz for the break and they’ve told me you’ve chosen to stay home?”

“Oh, yeah.” Camila has always had the choice to tag along or stay at home whenever the family went on a trip and she often tagged along, but this time, she wanted to stay home. Bradley’s parents have a beach house in Santa Cruz and Camila honestly isn’t in a beachy mood.

“Bradley is going away on a business trip, so if you don’t want to be alone, you could come with me to New York.”

Camila stops, gazing snapping to Lauren. “New York?”

Lauren smiles at her. “Yes. You’ve told me before that it would be a dream to go there one day and I have a couple of charity events I need to attend there. I’ll be back before the kids. You’re very welcome to come along.”

A couple of months ago, Camila would’ve jumped at the opportunity but things have changed and Camila is shocked that Lauren is extending the invitation. She apparently meant it when she said she wanted things to go back to normal between them.

She must sense Camila’s hesitation, because she says. “Let me know when you decide.” She reaches out and gives Camila’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

Camila watches Lauren walk away, watches the tantalizing swing of her hips and she _knows_ what her decision should be. She knows that it’s a bad idea to be with Lauren alone in New York City and watch her be smart and gorgeous at some fancy event with the painful knowledge that she can’t have her.

She’s going to tell her that she will stay at home and she will use that week on working towards self-love and building up her self-esteem.

 

She finds herself staring out of the window of a yellow cab, admiring the tall skyscrapers of New York.

(Alright. She’s weak. Sue her.)

“I can’t believe I’m here!” Camila turns to look at Lauren sitting next to her. “Thank you for letting me come along.”

Lauren chuckles lightly. “Of course, Darling. You should come with me to the charity tonight and I can show you around for a bit tomorrow.”

“Oh no, I don’t have anything to wear.” Camila says, shaking her head. The only thing she’s brought is a bunch of jeans and jumpers to fight off the late Fall weather.

“That’s no problem. I’ll just have Clarissa pick something up for.” Camila vaguely remembers the name of Lauren’s stylist and she’s about to protest, then she realizes she wouldn’t mind getting dressed up and mingling with stars — there’ll no doubt be some big names attending. 

“Thank you.”

“No problem, Darling.”

 

Lauren books them a swanky two-bedroom hotel suite, and the first thing Camila does is throw herself onto her bed gleefully. She laughs as she bounces until she settles, her body sinking into the bed and the bed is so ridiculously comfortable, she honestly can’t wait to sleep in it.

“What are you doing?” Lauren asks, standing in the door of Camila’s room, looking amused and Camila brushes her hair back, pinking embarrassed.

“Uh, nothing.”

Lauren just smiles at her. “There’s a bathroom right there if you want to take a shower before we leave.” Lauren checks the slim watch wrapped around her wrist. “We should start getting ready.”

“Okay!” Camila rolls ungracefully off the bed and slips into the large bathroom. Even the freaking shower is ridiculous with a bunch of nozzles all over and Camila excitedly strips out of her clothes, stepping inside and turning on the water.

It’s better than she imagined, the way the warm water hits her body from all angles is almost as good as sex. She wouldn’t have minded staying in there for a good hour or so, but she knows she doesn’t have time to waste. 

She steps back into the room, dripping on the expensive carpet with a towel wrapped over her chest and hears voices from the other room. It’s no doubt Lauren’s stylist that has arrived and Camila notices a black dress placed on the bed, obviously for her.

The fabric feels soft against her touch when Camila picks it up and curiously checks the label. It’s a Gucci dress. It probably costs more than her monthly pay. She bites down her lip excitedly. She’s never worn anything this expensive and she can’t wait to feel it against her skin. She quickly slides some underwear on before slipping into the dress. The zipper is rather low and she’s in some funny position trying to reach it when Lauren walks into the room.

“Do you need help?”

Camila spins around and feels instantly breathless at the goddess standing before her. Lauren is wearing a white low-cut dress that hugs her curves so wonderfully. Her black hair is set up in a low bun, a few strands framing her beautiful face that is done to perfection. Camila feels a familiar tingle between her legs and snaps a shaky breath.

“You look beautiful.” She says, voice cracking a bit as if she’s unable to handle Lauren’s beauty. She isn’t.

“Thank you, Darling. Let me help you.” Lauren steps forward and turns Camila around. Camila concentrates on steady, deep breaths as Lauren drags her zipper up. “There you go.” She says but she doesn’t move. 

Camila notices the mirror across from them and Lauren is watching her reflection as well. She places her hand softly on Camila’s shoulders and Camila dares to meet her gaze in the reflection. It’s so intense she can’t look away and Lauren is standing so close, she finds it impossible to breathe – knowing that if she does, she’ll be overwhelmed by her alluring perfume. She doesn’t know exactly what’s happening when Lauren strokes down the length of her arms. All she knows is that she’s burning up with the heat spreading all the way to her fingertips.

“You’re so…beautiful.” 

The tone in Lauren’s voice startles Camila. It sounds so brittle, so _pained_. Camila searches her eyes in the reflection, sees something edging on sadness and she’s about to ask if everything is alright, but before she can, Clarissa walks into the room.

“Shall I do her makeup and hair now?” Clarissa asks, oblivious at the tension in the room that bristles the second she speaks.

Lauren takes a step back and nods. “Yes, thank you.”

Camila watches her leave the room, confused.

 

The fundraiser is, as Camila had imagined, a night of extravagance and opulence. There are so many stars in attendance that Camila is surprised she doesn’t go blind with their shine. She spends most of the night, trying not to look like the gawking fool that she is.

There’s this cute guy who looks to be in his mid-20s, sitting at their table. His name is Dylan and he’s got the blondest hair and the bluest eyes. Camila can’t help but feel charmed by him as he tells her about his budding career as a new actor. He flirts with her and she flirts back. It’s harmless really, just a bit of fun. 

She almost jumps out of her seat when she feels Lauren’s hand on her knee. Her face snaps to the woman and receives a small, tight smile that she can’t read but unsettles her nonetheless.

“Are you having fun?” She asks and Camila blinks, nodding carefully. There’s something in Lauren’s tone that gives her the distinct feeling that she’s done something wrong. She’s tempted to ask but then Emily Osborne sitting to Lauren’s right asks her a question and Lauren turns her attention on her, without removing her hand from Camila’s knee.

Camila s only gets more and more bewildered as the night progresses. It quickly becomes apparent that anytime Camila even dares to smile at Dylan, Lauren’s grip on her knee tightens. It hits Camila that perhaps Lauren is jealous, but how could that be possible when Lauren herself told her that nothing was ever going to happen between them again? Perhaps Lauren is just mortified that Camila might do or say something to embarrass her in front of her rich, famous friends. 

By the time the night concludes, Camila has a hard time shaking off the feeling of Lauren’s hand on her knee. The cab tour home is awkward and stifled. Lauren is sitting as far away from Camila as she can get and Camila doesn’t know what to do with herself. She’s starting to think that Lauren hates her and regrets bringing her along, but she doesn’t expect what happens next.

Lauren silently slides across seat, closing the space between her and Camila until their thighs nearly touch. She reaches out and places her hand on Camila’s knee. Camila swallows, doesn’t make a move, doesn’t make a sound, waiting to see where this is leading.

Her breath catches when Lauren’s hand slides up her leg, down her thigh, stroking the sensitive skin. Camila instinctively spreads her knees, biting down a soft whimper when Lauren lightly pinches her, then gently rubs out the sting.

Camila might not know what’s happening, but she knows that she’s turned on. 

She glances at Lauren but Lauren is just looking straight ahead, a teasing smile dancing on her lips. 

Lauren’s hand continues their sinful trajectory up Camila’s thigh, slipping under her dress, so close to the fire raging between her legs. She drags her fingernails against the skin between her throbbing pussy and thigh. Camila is unable to swallow a gasp and it spills across her lips.

The taxi driver throws a curious glance over his shoulder and Lauren quickly removes her hand from under Camila’s dress, sending him an innocent smile. Camila can’t look at him, a flush of embarrassment mixed with arousal taking over her face.

There goes a moment too long before Lauren touches her again and Camila is _thisclose_ to begging her to break this unbearable tension. Lauren finally returns her hand under her dress, rubbing along her clothed slit, causing Camila to buck and bite down her lip to keep down the sounds crawling up her throat.

Camila glances at Lauren and the woman makes a ‘be quiet gesture’, her finger hovering over her pursed lips. It’s honestly one of the hottest things Camila has ever seen and she wonders if Lauren can feel her getting wetter. She checks that the taxi driver is none the wiser about what’s occurring in the back seat and wantonly spreads herself a little wider, allowing Lauren better access.

Lauren strokes her fingers along her throbbing pussy, the flimsy material of her lace undies growing wetter with every teasing drag. Camila pants, leaning in to hide her face against Lauren’s shoulder as Lauren mercilessly presses her thumb against her throbbing clit. Camila’s thighs are shaking and she doesn’t know for how much longer she can handle this.

Suddenly Lauren removes her hand and Camila whines in protest, not even noticing that the taxi has come to a stop. Lauren presses her mouth against her temple, muttering, “It’s okay, baby. We’re here.”

Camila is surprised to discover that they’ve already arrived at the hotel. She pulls down the hem of her dress and stumbles out after Lauren with pink cheeks and unsteady legs. Lauren grabs her hip to steady her and gives her a once-over.

“Are you alright, Darling?”

No, she’s not alright. She’s dripping and horny and she wants to tear off Lauren’s dress and suck her nipples into her mouth right here on the street. She doesn’t say any of that however, just offers a shaky smile and a nods.

They walk into the lobby and Lauren keeps her hand on Camila’s hip as they wait for the elevator. It’s such an intimate gesture and Camila can’t help but lean into it.

The elevator arrives and unfortunately, they aren’t alone, quashing Camila’s fantasy of a heavy and passionate elevator make-out.

It’s a miracle that they manage to make it back to their suite without Camila throwing herself at Lauren. As soon as the door closes behind them, Camila is on Lauren, kissing her as if she’s the air that she needs to survive.

Lauren quickly dominates the kiss and slides her tongue into Camila’s mouth as she grabs her hip and pushes her in the direction of the bedroom. Camila is somehow already halfway out of her dress by the time the back of her knee hits the bed. Lauren pulls the dress all the way off and shoves Camila down on the bed.

She helpfully removes Camila’s shoes, then stares down at her and Camila feels vulnerable in her underwear. She instinctively folds her arms over her small tits — a thing (or two) that she’s always been insecure about.

“Don’t do that.” Lauren admonishes softly and crawls on the bed, a leg on either side of Camila and removes Camila’s arms so she can lean down and place a kiss right in the middle of her breast. “You’re beautiful.”

“So are you.” Camila says in wonder as she gazes at the woman hovering over her. “Please, let me see you.”

Lauren smiles and straightens up to remove her dress. Her zipper gets stuck and Camila immediately gets on her knees to help her out. Lauren is watching her with burning eyes as Camila slowly slides her dress down her shoulder, all the way down to her middle and then Camila gets stuck staring at Lauren’s breasts in her sexy bra.

“Wow.” She says dumbly and then feels embarrassed.

Lauren, on the other hand, looks endeared. “You’re the most adorable, Camila.” She sheds off her dress and shoes and pushes Camila back on the bed.

Camila closes her eyes and lets out a pleasant sigh when Lauren lowers her mouth onto hers. They kiss slowly, savoring the feeling of the gentle press of their mouths and tantalizing dance of their tongues. Lauren rubs her hands all over Camila’s body, mapping out every inch with burning fingertips.

Camila returns the touches. If there’s anything she regrets about their last hookup, is that she never got to touch Lauren as much as she had wanted to. She won’t let the chance pass her by again. She reaches up and undoes Lauren’s hairdo, smiling when her long, black locks cascade over her shoulders, tickling Camila’s skin. 

Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s hair, down her neck to her back until she reaches her bra and easily unclasps it, sliding it off her. She takes a deep breath, heart racing when Lauren’s tits spill out, full and beautiful and Camila runs her fingers along their tender skin and the hard, little nubs, savoring the way Lauren’s breath hitches.

Lauren lowers her body, letting the length of it drag against Camila’s and they both moan at the delicious friction. Lauren kisses her harder as she impatiently removes Camila’s bra and pinches her rosy nipples.

“You have no idea for how long I’ve wanted you like this.” Lauren breathes against her neck. Camila shudders, arousal prickling her skin at those words.

“I’m all yours.” Camila moans wantonly.

“Say that again.” Lauren groans, mouthing at her neck and swiftly abandoning it in favor of sucking a nipple into her mouth, teasing it between her teeth.

Camila whines loudly. “I’m yours. I’m yours. Always.” She blabbers, splitting her knees when Lauren slips her hand underneath her underwear and rubs her clit in circles.

“You’re so wet, Camila. Do you want me to take care of you?”

“Yes, yes, _please_.”

Lauren smiles and gives her a sweet, lingering kiss on her panting mouth before she crawls between her legs. She doesn’t waste any time removing her underwear and knocks a sharp gasp from Camila when she presses her mouth against her glistening, pink pussy and gives her a long, filthy lick.

“Lauren!” Camila cries softly, reaching down to tangle her fingers in Lauren’s hair.

Lauren has no mercy. Her tongue laps over Camila in slow strokes, drinking in the small cries and moans and the way her little body was trembling with desire. Lauren moans into the wet heat, digging her fingernails into Camila’s thighs for purchase, doubtlessly leaving marks. Camila tastes and smells so deliciously and Lauren gazes up to watch Camila’s face as she eats her out.

It’s a gorgeous sight. Camila already looks fucked out with her messy hair, pink cheeks and bruised lips. The way her petite breasts rise and fall with her pants is equal amounts of adorable and hot.

Lauren licks away at her clit, sliding a pair of fingers insider of her, groaning at the way she squeezes down. Camila grinds down on her tongue and Lauren allows it, dragging her tongue in hard, fast and circular motions over her clit until she has Camila shaking and sobbing in pleasure.

“Come for me, Darling. Be a good girl.”

It isn’t a hard request. The only thing Camila has to do is look down and see Lauren with a mouthful of her cunt, lips slicked with her wetness and she arches off the bed, coming hard against Lauren’s tongue. Camila’s body spasms and Lauren holds her steady, lapping away at her eagerly until Camila is overstimulated and sobbing for her to stop.

When Camila returns to her senses, Lauren is hovering over her with an adoring smile. Camila blinks up at her dreamily and smiles back.

“Hi.” She giggles.

“Hi.” Lauren replies and dips down to kiss her.

They kiss lazy and slow for a few moments until Camila sits up. “I want to…” She blushes, feeling shy suddenly “I want to make you come too.”

Lauren studies her face, stroking down her cheek gently. “Yeah?”

Camila nods and licks her lips. “Yes. Please.”

Lauren smiles. “Okay, Darling.”

The only way Camila can describe eating Lauren out is a _religious experience_. She hungrily absorbs every little sound that tumble from Lauren’s lips, the heavy pants, the little gasps, the throaty groans. She’s convinced she’s never heard better and she wishes she could record it to keep her company on dark, lonely nights.

When Lauren comes, Camila takes everything she gives her, licking away eagerly until she was dripping from her chin. 

Lauren pulls her up next to her and kisses her, tasting herself on Camila’s tongue. They lay there, enveloped in each other’s warm bodies, soft touches, even softer kisses until they eventually drift off to sleep, still tangled together.

Camila wakes up to the smell of eggs, bacon and baked bread. She flutters her eyes open and for a moment, she thinks she’s still captured in a dream when she sees Lauren sitting by her side in a fluffy bathrobe, smiling down at her.

“Good morning, Darling.” Lauren greets and gestures to the plate of food on the nightstand. “I got you something to eat.”

Camila blinks rapidly as the events of the night before returns to her and she pinks, sitting up, covering her naked body with a blanket. 

“Oh, um, thank you.” 

She self-consciously rubs a hand over her face, knowing that her makeup from yesterday is probably a bit smeared, she just hopes she doesn’t look like a clown

Camila struggles a bit to keep herself covered as she reaches for the steaming hot cup of tea and takes a delicate sip. Lauren is watching her as if she’s the most fascinating thing on earth and it takes everything in Camila not to spill the tea on herself.

“About yesterday.” Lauren starts out of nowhere and this time Camila chokes on a piece of bacon. She coughs up a storm while Lauren gently pats her back. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yes. I’m good.” Camila squeaks red-faced.

Lauren nods. “About yesterday.” She repeats and Camila braces herself for a replay of their talk in the boathouse. Expect this time she isn’t going to allow Lauren to stomp all over her heart. She will stand up for herself and tell Lauren off for playing with her feelings. Pumped up by her own inner dialogue, she blurts before Lauren has a chance to speak.

“No!” 

Lauren looks mildly startled as Camila rises off the bed, keeping the blanket wrapped securely around her. She points an accusing finger at Lauren.

“I don’t want to hear it. I know what you’re going to say! You’re going to tell me that last night was a mistake and that you shouldn’t have done it and that you were a little bit drunk but I _won’t_ have it—”

“Camila, listen—”

“No, _you_ listen.” Camila continues firmly. Dinah would be proud of her. “I know that I’m young but I’m not dumb. I won’t and don’t want to become your little plaything that you can just fuck and then leave whenever you feel like it. I’m a human being. I have feelings. I demand to be respected—“

“Camila!” Lauren yells effectively shutting her up.

Camila stares at the woman, panting heavily from her outburst.

“Please, will you come sit down?” Lauren asks gently and pats the space next to her on the bed. “I won’t bite.” She adds when Camila shoots her a suspicious look. “Unless you want me to of course.” She winks.

Camila slowly moves across the room and drops down next to Lauren, staring stiffly at the floor.

There’s a moment of tense silence.

“I wasn’t going to tell you that.” Lauren reveals and smiles when Camila stares her surprised. “I know that you have feelings and trust me, I care very much about those feelings.” She reaches up and strokes through Camila’s messy hair, gently untangling it. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to sleep with you last night without speaking to you first. I just couldn’t control myself, you were so beautiful.”

Camila drops her eyes, smiling softly.

“I know that I told you we couldn’t repeat what happened last time and I have tried with everything I have to stay away from you.” Lauren sighs. “But obviously, I can’t stay away from you.”

“I don’t want you to stay away from me.” Camila confesses quietly, twisting her fingers together.

Lauren nods, silent for a few moments.

“I have wanted to kiss you the moment I laid my eyes on you.”

Camila’s eyes grow big and round. “Wha—really?”

Lauren smiles. “Yes. You were so adorable with your little guitar and the song you made about why you should be hired. So creative.”

Camila is embarrassed just at the memory. She had walked into the job interview with her guitar and a badly written song about how great she was with kids.

“That was awful.” Camila says, hiding her face in her hands.

Lauren laughs. “It was _brilliant_. It worked.”

Camila scoffs softly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were so young.” Lauren responds. “I would never have forgiven myself.”

Suddenly the first few months of Lauren being cold and distant made sense. Camila carefully reached out and took Lauren’s hand, smiling when she intertwined their fingers.

“The thing you might not have noticed is that Bradley and I haven’t been happy together for a while.” Camila’s mind flashes back to the night she witnessed them yelling at each other, but she doesn’t mention it. “The spark that we once shared has vanished long ago and I often question myself if there ever was one. We got married so long ago and somewhere along the way, we forgot to love each other.”

Camila studies Lauren’s face, her somber eyes. “Why don’t you get a divorce?” It only seems logical in Camila’s mind; a straight-forward solution to their problems.

A humorless laugh spills from Lauren’s lips and she plays with Camila’s fingers for a few moments. “It’s not that cut and dry. It’s far from simple. It’s something you’d only understand if you were married for as long as we were. I might no longer be in love with Brad, but I still respect him deeply, he’s a great father.”

“He is.” Camila agrees. Sure, there are times when he misses important days for his children, but he always shows remorse and guilt, and whenever he has time for them, he gives them his undivided attention and adoration. Camila knows the kids adore him just as much and misses him every second he’s not there.

“And then there’s the fact that I’m in the spotlight. It would be so messy. It would kill the kids. That’s what I care most about. The kids.”

Camila is silent as she absorbs that, humbled beyond belief that Lauren has chosen to open up and share her feelings with her.

“If you and Bradley stay together for the kids, wouldn’t it just hurt them in the long run?”

Lauren pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs with her whole body. “Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. I have no idea how to go about it, yet. I hope I’ll figure it out soon. The only thing I’m sure of is how I feel about you.”

Camila swallows, feeling her heart rate pick up. “How do you feel about me?”

Lauren cradles her chin and tilts her face towards her. “I’m happy when I’m with you.” She seals the words with an adoring kiss and Camila is sure she could cease existing.

“I’m happy too.” She says breathless with joy and presses her lips back against Lauren’s, kissing her with all the love she feels overflowing in her body.

They fall back on the bed together and that morning, they do it slow and sensual, tracing and remapping each other’s bodies in the daylight, sipping and drawing wanton moans, contended sighs and restless whines.

And yes, Camila has never been happier.

 

Once they return to LA after a couple of magical nights in New York, Camila is glowing and rosy with joy.

She doesn’t know where her and Lauren’s relationship is going or how it’ll proceed now that they’re back home. She doesn’t have to be concerned for too long since Lauren is kissing her against the wall, with her husband and kids just next door and it’s wrong, but even more exhilarating and Lauren is gone as fast as she came, leaving Camila crumbled against the wall, panting and wide-eyed

That’s how it begins and they start stealing touches whenever they can. Stolen looks across rooms, lingering touches as they pass each other, sharing secret smiles. It’s a wonder no one notices the way Lauren’s hand touches her hips at every chance or the way Camila’s cheeks pink any time Lauren is in the room. Lauren would visit her at the boathouse at night when everyone was asleep, crawling into her bed, in between her legs, dragging her tongue in and out until she had Camila screaming in ecstasy. 

One of those night, she brings a toy; a strap-on. When Camila sees it, her face flamed bright red but then Lauren kisses her soothingly, whispering filth in her ear.

“I want to see you on top of me, bouncing and horny, filled up to the brink.”

Camila nearly comes on the spot right there.

It’s thick and stands tall and proud and Camila honestly can’t remember the last time she had a dick in her, but if she’s anything, she’s eager to please Lauren. And Lauren is so careful with her, taking her time to loosen Camila with her fingers and her tongue until she’s dripping obscenely.

Lauren lies on her back, holding onto the dildo to keep it still and watches with hungry, powerful eyes as Camila straddles her. She gasps when Lauren brushes the lubed head along the fold of her pussy and she clenches in anticipation.

“Come one, baby.” Lauren urges, fondling her ass. “Sit down on it.”

Camila shudders, feeling herself grow wetter and she lowers herself, easing back a little until she feels the thickness of it nestle against her opening. Lauren rolls her hips, teasing her with penetration and Camila whines softly.

“Fuck, Camila.” Lauren groans as she watches Camila sink down, her little, pink cunt stretching around the thick girth and Camila’s mouth is wide open, whimpering for every inch that disappears inside of her.

Camila can’t tear her eyes from the way Lauren is staring at her, so wantonly, it makes her clit throb. Lauren knocks a cry out of her when she rolls her hips, letting another few inches disappear into her small body.

Camila is possibly shaking with pleasure once she’s seated and Lauren watches her intently, moaning, 

“You look so good, Darling.” She praises and rolls Camila’s nipples between her fingers.

Camila is so ridiculously wet and she squirms with how full she is. She takes a moment to get used to before she moves, starts out slowly with her hips roll then gradually picking up speed until she’s bouncing hungrily in Lauren’s lap

“Oh yes, baby, _yes_.” Lauren helps her along, meeting her half-way, driving into Camila, watching the pleasure overtake her.

Camila’s world spins before her eyes when Lauren flips their position and she hasn’t gotten her bearings before Lauren is pushing back inside of her, forcing Camila’s pussy wide open. She swallows Camila’s cries with her kisses, flicking over her swollen clit until she is trembling in her arms.

Lauren falls into a relentless pace, fast and dirty until Camila’s world dissolves into white.

 

Camila knows that one day, she might not be satisfied with sneaking around with Lauren, but for now, she’s more than happy to take what she can get.

Everything starts falling apart on a bright Thursday afternoon when Camila is out for ice-cream with the twins. They’re on their way home, walking through the park when Camila notices a man taking a picture of them. She’s startled because she hasn’t experienced it before. Sure, Faith and Hope are daughters of a famous actress but the paparazzi tired of taking pictures of them long time ago. Camila feels her heart drum up and she takes Faith and Hope’s hands, pulling them along a little faster.

“Wait.” Hope whines. “I want a turn on the swings.”

“Not now, Hope. We have to go home.”

She throws a furtive glance over her shoulder and is relieved to see that the man is gone. The relief is short-lived when they’re ambushed by a group of three men shoving their cameras in Camila’s face.

“Is it true that you have an affair with Lauren Jauregui?”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“How old are you!”

“What does her husband think?”

Camila’s feels like the ground is pulled from underneath her. She looks down to shield her face from the flashes and also to hide her scarlet face. She pulls the kids along, hoping that their innocence will protect them from understanding the nature of the questions. It’s a miracle that she gets anywhere with how bad she’s shaking. Someone must hear her prayers as the paparazzi don’t bother following her all the way home, or maybe they remembered their humanity when Faith started crying.

Lauren is shocked at their appearance upon their return and she takes her little girls in her arms as they run to her.

“What happened? Are you alright?”

“Um. There were a few paparazzi. They started taking pictures and shouting at us.” Camila explains, her voice breaking a bit.

“What?” Lauren looks rightfully pissed. “I’m going to call my lawyers.” But first, she focuses on calming her scared girls.

Camila doesn’t realize she’s moved before she’s suddenly sitting on her bed in the boathouse, body feeling numb and blood pulsing in her ears.

She doesn’t know for how long she sits there shaking until Lauren is suddenly next to her, pulling her close and muttering soothing words into her ear.

“They know.” Camila gasps, clawing at Lauren. “They know about us.”

Lauren stiffens and pulls away to stare at her in disbelief. “No.”

Camila nods helplessly, tears burning down her cheeks. “They asked about us. Asked if we had an affair. The twins heard. Oh my God.”

Lauren inhales shakily. “Fuck.” She mutters softly, dragging a hand down her face. “ _Fuck_.”

“What are we going to do?” Camila is mortified that she has now flushed Lauren’s entire career down the toilet. 

“It’s okay.” Lauren exhales. “It’s going to be okay. Camila, baby, I promise, it’s going to be okay.”

“How?” Camila warbles.

“They don’t have proof. Someone probably tipped them, but they don’t have proof. It’ll die down.”

Camila head spins. She can’t imagine who could’ve tipped them, but then it hits her. Lola. She hadn’t been too happy about Camila dumping her out of the blue and had outright accused her of dumping her in favor of Lauren even though she had no proof.

“It’s my fault.” She gasps.

“No. No. It isn’t.” Lauren hugs her tightly and kisses the top of her head. “I’m going to fix this.”

“How? What about the twins?”

“They don’t know what happened or what any of it means.”

“And…” Camila swallows thickly. “What about Bradley?”

Lauren sighs hard. “He’s probably going to hear about it. No doubt. I think he already suspected and this is only going to cement those suspicion.”

Camila feels physically sick with guilt. “He’s going to hate me.”

“He won’t.” Lauren assures and cups her face, peering into his eyes. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s going to be alright, Darling. I’m going to have an honest conversation with Brad tonight.”

Camila swallows thickly. “About us?”

Lauren smiles and nods. “About us.” She kisses her tenderly on the lips and pulls her back into her arms, rubbing her back soothingly until Camila’s heart settles and she isn’t shaking anymore.

 

Later that night when Bradley returns, Camila retreats to the boathouse and paces the length of it over and over again, feeling sick to her stomach. She drives herself mad as she goes through all the worst-case scenarios in which it inevitably ends with Bradley knocking down her door and throwing her out on her ass.

Her anxiety gets so bad that she spends considerable amount of time collapsed over the toilet bowl, dry heaving into it.

She’s close to jumping out of her own skin while attempting to distract herself by re-watching Modern Family on Netflix when Lauren finally returns. Camila springs to her feet and stares at Lauren, trying to get a read on her.

Lauren looks tired, but she’s smiling.

“What did he say?” Camila asks breathless.

Lauren crosses the room silently and sits down on the couch, pulling Camila down next to her. She takes Camila’s hand between hers and sighs softly.

“He said okay.” She finally says and Camila blinks.

“What. Really?” She had used so much time imagining the worst that it was incomprehensible to her that the outcome would be positive. “Just like that?”

“As I told you, he already suspected it. He was happy that if it was anyone, it was you.”

Camila’s jaw drops to the floor. “No way. Now you’re messing with me.”

Lauren smiles widens and she reaches out and tucks a lose strand behind Camila’s ear. “No. You know Bradley likes you. He believes we can trust you.”

Camila swallows, her insides shaking. “So, we can be together now?” 

“Of course, but not in front of the children. They’re too young to understand, but Bradley and I have come to an agreement. An arrangement if you will.”

“An arrangement?” Camila echoes.

“Yes. He admitted that he had a few indiscretions over the years. We aired all of our dirty laundry to each other. It was risky. It could either have broken us or made us stronger. Luckily it was the latter. We agreed he could find some joy on the side as well as long as he didn’t bring them home.”

Camila’s mind is reeling. She didn’t think those kinds of arrangements were realistic outside of the movie world, but apparently they were and she’s found herself in the middle of it. She used a few moments to let that sink in.

“But what about me? I live here.” 

“It’s alright. As I said Bradley trusts you and he knows the kids adore you.”

“Oh my God.” Camila breathes. “I can’t believe this.” She can feel the happiness lurking around the corner but she won’t let it in just yet, feeling like this is a prank and that’ll everything will be ripped from her any moment.

“It’s only if you want to of course.” Lauren rushes to say, misinterpreting Camila’s silence as reluctance. “You still have a choice in this. It won’t be simple. And you’re still so young. It can’t be easy for you to tie yourself down in such a complicated relationship –”

Camila interrupts her by kissing her hard on the lips. When she pulls back, she beams at Lauren, eyes glittering with happiness and promise.

“I want to. You make me so happy. I’m so happy.” She threw her arm around Lauren’s neck, pressing close to her as she felt the tears sting at the corner of her eyes. She never thought she would be this happy if she’d been asked just a few months ago, she would’ve laughed at the idea.

But here she is, in Lauren’s arm with Lauren holding her tight and kissing the top at her heart, as she feels their heart beat in synch.

 

The girls are understandably skeptic when she tells them.

“No way!” Ally squeals scandalized.

“So, you’re here side hoe now?” Dinah sniffs and levels her with an unimpressed gaze.

“Stop being so negative, Dinah. I’m happy.” She says. Nothing can wipe of the megawatt smile on her lips ever again.

“We can see that.” Normani says. “But are you sure about this?”

“I’ve honestly never been more sure of anything in my life.” She announces.

“Wow.” Ashlee nods. “Have you and Bradley talked?”

“Um no. We’ve crossed paths and he smiled at me and acted completely normal, but I was so awkward, I was practically stuttering like an idiot.”

Dinah studies her silently. “Are you really happy, Camz?”

Camila meets her gaze. “I’ve never been more happier.”

Dinah sighs, rolls her eyes and protests some more, muttering about how ridiculous it is. She eventually pulls Camila into a hug and tells her she’s happy for her and that she’ll ruin Lauren if she ever hurts her.

 

Camila truly has never been happier.

It’s a brilliant Saturday afternoon and she’s in the kitchen with all the kids and Lauren, baking cupcakes with them. It feels so wholesome and domestic and Camila doesn’t stop smiling, especially since Lauren is a disaster in the kitchen.

“I feel like I have _four_ children in here.” Camila laughs when Lauren somehow manages to spray batter all over herself.

Camila slides next to her and fondly wipes some off her beautiful face. “Come on, Lauren, you can do better than that.”

Lauren grins. “I honestly can’t. My mother gave up on me a long time ago.”

“Yes, mom. You really can’t cook or bake to save your life.” Adam snorts, expertly pouring his smooth batter into the baking forms as if he’d done it a million times before. Always a natural that boy.

“Oh, shut up, you little showoff.” Lauren says good-naturedly and flicks some batter on him, hitting him smack on across the cheek.

Camila’s eyes widen.

“Oh shit.” She mutters.

Oh shit indeed. It isn’t long before Adam retaliates, getting batter in Lauren’s hair and the twins squeals are ear splitting as they join in, throwing the batter everywhere they can. Camila for her part tries to stop it and narrowly dodges getting hit.

By the time they calm down, it’s a miracle that there’s any batter left for baking. They’re all laughing, red faced and happy and Camila thinks _’this is home’_. She sends the kids upstairs to clean themselves while the cupcakes are in the oven and she’s about to follow the twins upstairs to help them, but Lauren grabs her wrist, pulling her flush up against her.

“Lauren.” Camila giggles. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing. I just want a kiss.” She responds and dips down, kissing her hard, making Camila’s toes curl. Camila kisses her back, eagerly opening her mouth and lets their tongue play together. 

She hears squealing upstairs and peels herself away, panting. “I have to go before they break something. You go clean yourself too.”

Lauren drags her back to give her a last, lingering kiss and gives her ass a firm squeeze. “God, I can’t wait to have you tonight.”

Camila remembers with a flush of arousal that Bradley is away tonight and her heart throbs with anticipation. She tears herself and spins around. She pauses in the door and throws a glance over her shoulder.

“Me neither.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos makes me very smiley
> 
> let me know what ya thiiiiink x


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